Have you ever wondered why you find something that works really well, and then quit doing it?
Maybe you start going to the gym three times a week after work, and then decide that switching to the weekend might be better and stop going.
Or, you switch to drinking one cup of coffee a day, feel 100% better, then one day decide that you can have two, which leads to three, then four.
Maybe you set time aside each day to write, start getting a ton of writing done, then switch to a different system, and it all falls apart.
Something was working really well in your life and you decided to change it.
For me it was meditation.
Sufi Remembrance
At the start of August I took Mark Silver’s “Remembrance Challenge” to give meditation a try. The Remembrance is a Sufi tradition involving getting in touch with the Divine. You can find an excellent description by signing up for the challenge at Heart of Business.
I had never meditated previously, and to be honest, I was of the mind that meditation was a load of “hippy garbage” that had no value to offer my life.
Well, I was wrong. Big time wrong. Carrying out the Remembrance made a HUGE difference in my life: I was more in control of my emotions, I felt less stressed, I was having some amazing ideas, and I was making some really great decisions about my business.
The Remembrance worked.
Switch to Shahmbala Mindfulness
My eyes were opened to the world of meditation and I wanted to experiment more. I decided to give the Shambhala tradition of meditation a try. I bought some books, read the books, and signed up for a weekend retreat.
In the end I was unable to attend the weekend retreat, but the books were very interesting and I started to practice meditating the “Shahmbala way.”
I didn’t like it. It just didn’t work for me.
So, I did the only logical thing I could: I stopped meditating.
Quitting what works
All right, so that doesn’t make a lot of sense. I had a very successful support environment in my life with the Remembrance. I experimented with Shambhala meditation, which didn’t work. So I stopped using a meditation environment all together.
Not my brightest moment I admit.
Months have gone by since I practiced the Remembrance. I have been feeling more stressed. I have felt blocked in moving forward with my business. I have been less patient with my family. Every benefit I was feeling from practicing the Remembrance was gone, and yet I still pushed forward, never making the link between stopping the Remembrance and the way I was feeling.
This past week I started using the Remembrance again.
It felt fabulous. I am now working my way up, once again, to a daily practice and it is already doing wonders for how I am feeling and how I am thinking. I am thankful that I have found this environment again.
Why do we quit?
I think maybe, once we create a helpful environment for ourselves, and begin a supportive habit we get overconfident. We attribute the success we are having to something inside of us, instead of something in the environment we created for ourselves.
You think it is willpower that makes you go to the gym, not something as simple as selecting the right time to go.
You think your self-control is strong enough to not have three cups of coffee, so two seems safe.
You believe you now have the ability and skill to write whenever you want, and don’t realize it was the structure of how you were writing that helped you be successful.
Willpower and effort are great, but they are not enough. It is the environments you set up to support yourself that lead to your success. So, next time you are having some success in your life, don’t just give yourself a pat on the back, acknowledge everything that surrounds you and has supported you in being successful.
Think of a time when you were successful and try to identify some of the people, things, and structures that helped you be successful. How could you incorporate these success environments into a project you are currently working on?
Check out Jocelyn’s post on vision boards for another great way to build up your success environment.
I think you’re right, bang-on right. Sometimes I do something, find it works, pat self on back and walk away from it. (like going into the office to make phone calls as opposed to doing them from home). Crazy!
[...] For more on environmental challenges check out this post on quitting environments that work. [...]