Sunday Night Success

I like golf.

I like the anticipation of the game.  I like setting it up with my friends.  I like getting my gear ready.  I like driving into the parking lot.  I like carrying my gear to the first tee.  I even like paying for the privilege of playing.

There is something about the game that has an allure to me.

Turning my cell phone off and having some “me” time.  Joking around with my friends at the tees.  Watching my friends succeed on the green.  Walking through lovingly manicured courses.  The anticipation that the shot that I am about to take may go where I want it to go.

My problem lies in the fact that I am not good at hitting the ball.  As a lefty golfer I have developed a habit of hitting every drive that I make left instead of straight.  Left into the rough.  Left into the water.  Left into the sand.  And not just a little left – I am shooting left by 45 degrees or more.  :S

What happens after I shoot left?  The first 5 or 6 shots I can usually suppress my frustration but eventually it bubbles to the surface and my day is ruined.  Friends cannot console me.  The joy is gone but I play on like a man walking through a rain storm who is soaked to the bone.

So for a long time I did what any man would do.  I would try harder.  I would try to force my body to HIT THE BALL STRAIGHT!!  I would practice harder and more often.  I would contort my body in ways to make the ball do what I want it to do.  I would turn my body so when I hit it left then at least it would be straight (this made it worse). All to no avail.

I just figured out my problem.

My problem is that I care where the ball goes more than I care about the process for getting the ball there.

Now I have a new plan – focus on the joy of the movement within the shot and stop caring about where the ball goes.  My shot may not improve at all but by changing what I consider success to be I will find peace on the course.  And this is my real success – peace.

A number of years ago one of my favourite authors, Douglas Coupland, came to Calgary and my wife and I attended his reading.  His quirky perspective on life has always given me food for thought and comfort.

After he had finished his reading and explaining where the impetus of the book came from he decided to take some questions from the audience.

One such question was, “If you were able to go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice on how to live your life what advice would you give?” Interesting question, no?  So this accomplished author with creativity as big as the sky thinks long and hard about his answer.

His response – “I would tell myself,”When times seem tough and the moment seems to be crumbling in front of your eyes go grab a snack.  You are sugar crashing. Eat a granola bar and then see if that makes your situation better.”

The audience thought it was a throw away comment and laughed, in all honesty, I did too. In fact as my wife and I walked back to the car I told her how I felt that his comment seemed glib.

Years have since passed and I have since continued to read his books.

But as I have gone through my life his advice has stuck with me.  And when there were times that I thought I couldn’t handle the stress or didn’t think there was a solution to the problem that was in front of me instead of falling into despair – I ate a granola bar. Sure enough in 10 or 15 minutes I felt better and in turn solutions began to reveal themselves.

Turns out his advice that I thought was too simple was actually great advice.

So if the next time your are struggling in the moment go grab yourself a healthy snack and see if that makes your outlook better.

PS.  My favourite book of his is Girlfriend in a Coma.  Check it out.

For another great post about tools that you can add to your success toolbox check out this post.

Here at SNS we take action every week to make progress in making our dreams come true. By setting clear defined actions every week, being accountable to others and then celebrating those successes makes our progress focused, tangible and way more fun.

But there are times where we are working on something that is really difficult or we just feel down and need a pick up.  In the past I focused on adding coffee to my body to help in these times. While this is close to the right idea – making changes in your body to help the brain become more active or to help raise your emotions – it falls short.

The following are three things that I do to help myself feel happier and better focused through the day.
- Realize that you can decide how you want to feel – figure out how you want to feel, make a clear decision that you are going to feel this way and say it out loud to yourself 5 times.
- Get out of your desk and do some stretches with deep breathing.  By getting your blood flowing through your entire body every 45 mins to 1 hour you can feel refreshed and focused again.
- Change your body language - instead of being hunched over and looking down while walking try walking like John Travolta at the beginning of Saturday Night Fever.  Not only will you look cool but you will feel 10 times better. See – How to Strut

These are just the beginning.  Yoga, tai chi, meditation and many other diciplines have lots of great ideas on how to feel better that take just a moment to preform.  If you have any other ways to feel better then share them with us by commenting below.

You will have to excuse me as I need to practice my strut.

Jason

Within each of us lives doubt.

Within each of us lives temptation.

One of the temptations that I have seen since I started setting my weekly actions is very sinister. What happens is I get to Friday afternoon and a couple actions would not have been completed. At that point an idea would present itself – I could put “complete” next to the actions that are not completed and my success partners would be none the wiser!

Did you see what happened there?

First of all I felt doubt whether or not I was going to complete a couple actions. This doubt exists within each of us. I view this whole thought process as a good sign. I like the fact that I am challenged a bit in my actions every week. This shows that I am pushing myself and that is what I need to be doing to make my dreams come true.

Second I felt tempted to lie. And technically I am right – my success partners would not have known but I would have known. My pride was getting in my way. In turn this cheapens what it is that I am trying to do because I start to doubt myself and the program.

I learned that it is best to shove the pride and laziness away. Try my best to get the actions completed before our next meeting and if I can’t treat the people that I trust and myself with the respect that we deserve.

We are only human and these feelings are to be expected. It isn’t the fact that we have these feelings that makes us more or less it is how we respond that shows us our real value.

_________________

If you are a recovering pessimist check out this post by Jeremie.

Have you ever tried to stick to a work out regime all on your own? Most adults have tried and failed.  Excuses come up about the weather, not enough time, or other pressing commitments that were just too important to put off for another week.  Then we begin to justify – “I will work out extra hard next week” or “I had better rest my (phantom) injury” or “What difference does it make if I miss one work out?”  Soon three or four weeks of excuses and justifications have passed and we haven’t worked out even once.  We feel down and dejected.  Perhaps workout regimes are only for other people.  Maybe we will always be unfit.  Ho hum.  Then we just stop trying.

Sound familiar?

Turns out it is very very common.

So what many people do is get a work out buddy.  This is another person who is interested in getting stronger but also struggles with getting their butts out the door. They support each other.  Firstly they can help with dealing with the small excuses just by knowing that this other person depends on you and you have plans.  Secondly they can support you by getting on your case when you try to use an excuse.  Thirdly when you are struggling they can be a shoulder to lean on.

People find great success at their workout regimes by doing this.  They make great friends that last a life time. And they feel stronger not only physically but also mentally because they proved they can stick to it.

This is what we want to be to each other but instead of focusing on working out we expanded it to any actions you want in your life.

When we commit to each other and support each others action and feelings we all become stronger.

Join us – lets get stronger together.

For another great article on Action Setting check out

7 steps to using accountability for goal achievement

A change last week

Observant readers may have noticed something new at Sunday Night Success last week: a post from my good friend, and action partner Jason on “Three Tips for Setting Weekly Actions”. This post is the beginning of the next evolution of Sunday Night Success, and I am super excited to announce that this was not a guest post but a new and permanent feature that I know will greatly increase the value of Sunday Night Success to everyone in our growing community.

But wait, there’s more

I get to be super excited twice in the same week as I also get to announce that Vicky, another great friend, and the third member of the action setting group will also be joining in providing content to Sunday Night Success. Jason and Vicky will be alternating their posts every Thursday, providing you with plenty of new perspectives on how to set goals, actions, and achieve the results you have been looking for.

Sunday Night Success, Evolution 2.0 posting schedule

So, starting last week, and for the upcoming weeks this is what you can expect from us on Sunday Night Success:

Monday: Weekly Action Setting
Wednesday: A post from Jeremie
Thursday: A post from either Jason or Vicky
Sunday: Weekly Accountability

So, take a second and visit the “About Us” page to check out all three of your Sunday Night Success contributor’s profiles. Get to know us; I know that we are all looking forward to getting to know you.